What is Counselling?
What is counselling – and how could it help me?
People come to counselling for all sorts of reasons.
You may know exactly what has brought you here. Perhaps you’re struggling with anxiety or low mood, grieving someone or something you’ve lost, experiencing difficulties in a relationship, or trying to cope with something that has happened in your life.
Or perhaps it’s much harder to explain.
You might simply know that you don’t feel like yourself anymore. You may feel overwhelmed, stuck, exhausted by the same thoughts or patterns, or find yourself thinking, “I can’t keep feeling like this.”
You don’t need to have worked out what is wrong before coming to counselling. Sometimes understanding that is part of the work we do together.
What actually happens in counselling?
At its heart, counselling gives you somewhere to talk openly about your life and how you really feel.
That may sound simple, but having a space which is genuinely yours – where you don’t need to protect somebody else’s feelings, put on a brave face, have the answers or pretend that everything is fine – can be enormously valuable.
Our sessions are confidential and focused on you.
I’ll listen carefully to what you bring and help you explore your thoughts, feelings and experiences. We may begin to notice patterns, make connections between past experiences and what is happening in your life now, or understand why certain situations affect you in the way they do.
I won’t judge you, tell you what you should do or make decisions for you.
Instead, we’ll work together to help you understand yourself more fully and find your own way forward.
What if I don’t know what to say?
This is something many people worry about before starting counselling.
You don’t need to arrive with a carefully prepared story – and there are no right words.
You can start wherever you need to start.
Sometimes people have lots they want to say. Sometimes they don’t know where to begin. Sometimes there are silences. Sometimes there is laughter as well as sadness. And yes, sometimes there are tears.
All of that is okay.
Part of my job is to help create a relationship in which, over time, you feel safe enough to talk about the things that matter to you.
You will never be expected to talk about something before you feel ready.
Is my problem ‘serious enough’ for counselling?
There isn’t a threshold you have to cross before you’re entitled to ask for support.
You don’t need to be in crisis.
Sometimes people seek counselling because something significant has happened. Others come because difficulties have gradually accumulated over months or years. Some people have outwardly successful lives while privately feeling anxious, unhappy, lonely or lost.
If something is affecting your wellbeing or preventing you from living the life you would like to live, it deserves attention.
How I work
I am an Integrative Psychotherapeutic Counsellor, which means I have trained in different therapeutic approaches and can adapt the way I work according to you and what you need.
I don’t believe that one approach suits everybody.
You are an individual, shaped by your own experiences, relationships, personality and circumstances. Our counselling should reflect that.
Sometimes it can be helpful to explore experiences from earlier in life and understand how they may still be influencing you today. At other times, our work may focus much more on what is happening in the present.
Often, the two naturally connect. We’ll work at a pace that feels manageable for you.
What can I bring to counselling?
Anything that is causing you distress or making life harder matters.
- Anxiety, worry and feeling overwhelmed
- Depression and low mood
- Low self-esteem and lack of confidence
- Bereavement, grief and loss
- Relationship and family difficulties
- Stress and work-related problems
- Anger
- Bullying
- Self-harm
- Difficult or painful experiences from the past
- Substance misuse
- Major life changes
- Feeling stuck, lost or unsure about what you want
You may recognise yourself somewhere on that list, or you may not. You don’t need a label to come to counselling. We can begin with whatever is happening for you.
How long will I need counselling?
There isn’t one answer to this.
Some people come to counselling with a particular issue they would like to explore and find that relatively short-term work is enough. Others choose to work for longer, particularly where difficulties have developed over many years or where they want to explore themselves and their relationships more deeply.
We can talk together about what you hope to gain from counselling and review our work as we go.
There is no expectation that you should remain in counselling for longer than it feels helpful to you.
Ready to talk?
Making that first contact can sometimes feel like a surprisingly big step. You don’t need to explain everything in your first message. You can simply tell me that you’re interested in counselling and would like to arrange an initial consultation.